Learning Process

I feel like this deployment has been a whole learning process for Kyle and I. There's no manual on how to do this and there's no right things to say and what to do. I feel like sometimes I dig myself a hole with what I say to Kyle and only make things worse. I know he understands and that I just need time to figure out how to cope with all of this. I'm learning from my mistakes and allowing myself to become stronger. I know that our relationship will make it through the next 12 months. Some days are going to be tough and we're going to have our rough patches but the love we have for each other will keep us going. I'm sick of writing depressing blogs about how much I miss him... I'm going to be stronger. I need to... I HAVE to, I really have no choice. Getting upset everyday won't bring him home, I need to make the best of the next 12 months. I'm going to keep myself busy, bring up my grades, work out and lose the rest of the weight that I've been trying so hard to, get a weekend job, and actually reach out to friends for once. I hate to admit it but this relationship has taken away from me making friends while at school. Once I met Kyle after only being at college for 2 months I just latched onto him and didn't allow myself to make friends and have the true college experience. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier that I met Kyle and wouldn't want it any other way but I know that I would enjoy my college experience a lot more and not dread coming back to school if I had more friends here. I met my closest friends through class and only really hang out with them when we're studying together... it needs to change. I know it's going to take time to allow myself to reach out to others but I know it needs to be done. I don't want to graduate from college regretting that I never made took advantage of this time apart from Kyle.