Acceptance

I have still yet to accept that my Grandmother is gone. I haven't even accepted that my Grandpa has passed away and that was more than 2 years ago. I was just so close to both of them... their love for their grandchildren didn't have any limits, they really did love us unconditionally.

Every time I think about my Grandpa I just keep thinking about how badly I wish Kyle could have met him. They both would have gotten along so well and he would have been so happy and proud of me. He wanted nothing more than to see me be happy. I see a lot of my Grandpa in Kyle... I know it may sound weird but he reminds me a lot of him. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I feel so comfortable around him.

As for my Grandmother... there were so many things I still wanted to talk to her about. She understood what I was going through with Kyle's deployment and gave me some of the best advice I have ever heard. She knew how much I really do love Kyle and how amazing of a guy he is. I have a lot of pent up anger inside of me because I never got a chance to say goodbye to her. Everyone got to visit her in the hospital after her surgery while I was stuck at school. If I knew this was going to happen I would have been home in a heartbeat. I know I can't be angry at myself but I feel like I deserved that last goodbye. That women was a true inspiration to all of us... I'm going to miss her more than I can ever describe. I've never accept that either of them are gone... but I know they're looking over all of us and smiling down at us. Love you Grammy and Grampy