9 months down!!

I've been a terrible blogger when it comes to updating. For awhile I was doing really well keeping updates and just venting about my issues. The last time I made a blog we were 4 months down of this deployment. As of today we are about 9 months... where did time go!? It feels like just yesterday I was holding onto him and crying at the going away ceremony, feeling like my whole world was crashing down on me. A few days ago I decided to read emails that I sent to Kyle right after he left. I was a complete mess, apologizing for every tear that I cried and promising him that I would be strong because at that moment, I was as weak as they get.

Today I can 100% say that I am a changed woman. I am stronger than ever and so much more independent. I don't rely on Kyle to always make me happy, I've realized that I have to make myself happy first. I still have my moments but I just get right back up, brush myself off and go along with my day. I've realized that crying isn't going to bring him home, it's only going to make things harder for us. I just have to accept what life has decided to hand us and enjoy the ride.

The main reason why this deployment has been a lot easier than I expected is because of Kyle. He has been extremely dedicated to this relationship while he's been over there. Everyday he is busy with some kind of mission or task but he still manages to get that phone call in right before he goes to bed just to hear my voice before he goes to bed. There was a period where I would only get a phone call every week but even then, I wasn't really struggling. I just try to keep myself as busy and involved as possible. It's really the only way to make time fly by.

Recently they were told that they are officially under the 100 day mark. New faces will be showing up taking their place and they'll have to start packing up and sending stuff home. I can't wait for the day that they don't have any more missions. Lately the missions have been the most dangerous ones yet and I just spend the day freaking out waiting for that phone call to know he's ok. Lately all I can think about is that moment that I see him again and that his arms are wrapped around me. We still got a few months left but I know that they are going to fly by.

In two months Kyle and I will have been together for 3 years. During our 2 year anniversary Kyle was away training for the deployment and by our 3 year anniversary he should be preparing to come home. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact that we literally spent a whole year of our relationship away from each other but it really doesn't feel like that. Our relationship has grown to a whole nother level because of this deployment. We have never been more in love and appreciative of each other than now. He's still my mushy man even when he's a million miles away in a war zone. He still knows how to make me smile and laugh until I cry.

I'm ending my post with a picture of Kyle and his squad right after their biggest and most successful mission. He's the one in the back second from the left with the biggest grin ever on his face. Happy much? :)