Donut of Misery

We've got less than 2 and a half months left of this deployment. Time will eventually begin to drag on but right now it's still flying by. School and work has been keeping me very busy. Classes don't seem too bad... yet and I love my new job. The managers are great as are all the other servers I work with. PLUS the kitchen isn't full of a bunch of creepers :)

Two weekends ago I went to a Yellow Ribbon Event to prepare us for their homecoming. It was very overwhelming to say the least. Hearing stories from wives who have already gone through deployments kinda scared the crap out of me. Some said it took over a year to have things back to normal. I feel like Kyle and I are in such a different situation though... he's not coming home to a wife, children, and a house. I'm really nervous about him coming home and making sure I have time for him. This past year has been a routine of doing things on my own and being very independent. I'm a full-time student with a part-time job... I never had a job when Kyle was around. I don't plan on just quitting my job once he comes home nor does he expect me to. We have to learn how to juggle things in life because it's only going to get harder and more complicated.

I know that we'll be able to make everything work though. Luckily he has a 30 day leave when he first comes home. This will give him time to get adjusted to being home again and for us to spend time together. His leave falls right around my winter break which is perfect. I won't have to worry about studying for exams or going to classes. We plan on spending most of our time in Vermont with each other. Eventually reality will sink in and I'll have to go back to classes and he'll have to leave for various military schools but I'm not worried about it. We've made it through a whole year of not seeing each other... a few weeks will be a piece of cake.

9 months down!!

I've been a terrible blogger when it comes to updating. For awhile I was doing really well keeping updates and just venting about my issues. The last time I made a blog we were 4 months down of this deployment. As of today we are about 9 months... where did time go!? It feels like just yesterday I was holding onto him and crying at the going away ceremony, feeling like my whole world was crashing down on me. A few days ago I decided to read emails that I sent to Kyle right after he left. I was a complete mess, apologizing for every tear that I cried and promising him that I would be strong because at that moment, I was as weak as they get.

Today I can 100% say that I am a changed woman. I am stronger than ever and so much more independent. I don't rely on Kyle to always make me happy, I've realized that I have to make myself happy first. I still have my moments but I just get right back up, brush myself off and go along with my day. I've realized that crying isn't going to bring him home, it's only going to make things harder for us. I just have to accept what life has decided to hand us and enjoy the ride.

The main reason why this deployment has been a lot easier than I expected is because of Kyle. He has been extremely dedicated to this relationship while he's been over there. Everyday he is busy with some kind of mission or task but he still manages to get that phone call in right before he goes to bed just to hear my voice before he goes to bed. There was a period where I would only get a phone call every week but even then, I wasn't really struggling. I just try to keep myself as busy and involved as possible. It's really the only way to make time fly by.

Recently they were told that they are officially under the 100 day mark. New faces will be showing up taking their place and they'll have to start packing up and sending stuff home. I can't wait for the day that they don't have any more missions. Lately the missions have been the most dangerous ones yet and I just spend the day freaking out waiting for that phone call to know he's ok. Lately all I can think about is that moment that I see him again and that his arms are wrapped around me. We still got a few months left but I know that they are going to fly by.

In two months Kyle and I will have been together for 3 years. During our 2 year anniversary Kyle was away training for the deployment and by our 3 year anniversary he should be preparing to come home. It's hard to wrap your head around the fact that we literally spent a whole year of our relationship away from each other but it really doesn't feel like that. Our relationship has grown to a whole nother level because of this deployment. We have never been more in love and appreciative of each other than now. He's still my mushy man even when he's a million miles away in a war zone. He still knows how to make me smile and laugh until I cry.

I'm ending my post with a picture of Kyle and his squad right after their biggest and most successful mission. He's the one in the back second from the left with the biggest grin ever on his face. Happy much? :)